WARNING: This could be dangerous to your [spiritual] health.
Posted by Lilies of the Field at 3:02 PM
I have worshipped with my lips and so many days that was where my worship ended. I began begging Him at camp (I often pridefully think that camp is just for the students) to pick me up and shake me around this summer because I was sick of the me-ness that had consumed my life for the past _____ months. There was no one but me that was more important to me. I use past tense verbs in that sentence only because I am determined that with His grace, we can make this a past tense action.
This is where He chose to start. Be very careful in listening because you are guaranteed to be convicted. The kind of conviction that causes your stomach to ache a little and your eyes to be water-filled and your brain to not be able to get it out of your mind for what's going on a week. At least that's what happened to me. It was also the kind of conviction that I like because with it comes something new, a new journey, a large section of pruning that will hopefully produce something so much more beautiful--not on the outside by any means, all on the inside.
"It's a good thing, till it becomes a God thing, and then it's a bad thing." Because I have replayed those words and many others in my mind since this recent pruning session, I've decided that I need to confess it on up and let you, World, know my idols.
Idol #1: My appearance. As I listened to this Word preached, I knew instantly that this ranked number one. What I wear and what I look like have, on more occasions than I really want to allow myself to admit, become God things and, therefore, bad things. I could give you so many more details on this and the all-consuming thoughts that go along with it, but I will spare you and let Him have that. As if I have an option not to let Him.
Idol#2: What others think. Though I know that this is a constant, annoying sin of mine, I don't suppose I thought of it as an idol until He whispered it to me. This too consumes more of my thoughts than are actually countable, but it also so often affects my actions. It's sickening, really, how often I allow what someone will think of me to change me. On the spot. With no second thought. Idol.
I don't need for Elijah to prove to me that they are false. I know it. I live it. I have seen the way my heart has chosen to be "fulfilled" by them only to be left completely empty. So I will just repent, take my thoughts captive, and make Him my idol. Of course, the summer will need to be replaced with my life time because I'm certain that this is how long it will take. Then after that, He truly will be my idol, only tangible.
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