- your prayer on the way to the hospital as we prepared for the unknown.
- how we watched a baby story together in the pre-op room, one a natural birth and one a c-section.
- you walking into the operating room looking so handsome in your scrubs and immediately grabbing my hand and asking how I was doing.
- you bringing me my baby around the curtain with this incredible look of joy and amazement and bending down to kiss my cheek.
- how proudly you showed me his precious little footprints that had been put on your scrub.
- the first hour we spent as a family inspecting this precious little life that the Lord had entrusted to us.
- how you were a tape recorder of information trying to help me remember everything we had learned in our class about this first hour together.
- how you instantly became our protector and how we became your number one priority.
- how you immediately stepped in and helped me with my own care: pain meds, using the restroom, asking the nurse questions, talking to the doctor, helping me figure out nursing.
- how many of the things you helped me with were embarrassing for both of us, but you did it humbly and with the sweetest, most servant-hearted demeanor.
- how your sense of fashion went out the window as you chose basketball shorts, a t-shirt, and thermal socks during our stay.
- how this care did nothing but increase once we got home.
- how you would look at me when I was taking care of our boy like you did when we first started dating--with complete awe and amazement.
- how your profession of not changing diapers immediately went out the window because you knew it was what was needed for me and him.
- how you would encourage me when I cried and not get frustrated.
- how you did everything with the sole intention of making it easier and taking care of us.
- how you would not let anyone touch him unless they were sanitized.
- how you had a plan for others to hold him a certain length during Christmas.
- how you would lean over and kiss me and then our boy.
- the way that you showed the video of his eyes being open so proudly to every person that would watch.
- how you would lean down and whisper the sweetest things to Keaton when he was screaming during a diaper change, sometimes barely dodging so urine.
- how you would sit with me in the nursery as we struggled those first two weeks and encourage me to keep going.
From the moment we found out we were pregnant and then calculated the due date, I have had this deep dread. I dreaded that December 22 could likely mean December 25. I dreaded that my poor child would be thrown into the hustle and bustle of the holiday season never to be truly celebrated. I dreaded that he would miss out on a “real” birthday and non-shared birthday gifts. I dreaded the sadness that he would feel because everyone would be too busy to celebrate his day.
It was around June, however, when I feel like the Lord spoke to my heart about the opportunities that being pregnant during this time of year provided me. As we have gotten closer to the season, I have often thought so carefully about Mary. Yes, Mary, Jesus’ mommy. In no way do I compare myself to her or pretend to contend with her or the baby in which she was chosen to carry, but if all dates were accurate and for the purposes for which we know this season, I do feel like I have the timing right on target with when she was pregnant with Jesus.
I shall never forget once our sweet boy was in my arms holding him on Christmas morning, playing him Christmas music as we rocked, and weeping at the mere thought of ever giving him up. It is through his existence that I have a greater understanding of the incredible sacrifice that God the Father and Mary made for me. What a true blessing our Christmas baby is.