is because we've been THAT person. That complain-y person.
I had woken up, emailed the photographer some picture ideas, packed some things in the car, and headed to Starbucks with some of the greatest friends in the world. After filling my body with much-needed caffeine (or nerve suppressant), I was on my way to get my hair done. I can remember every detail of the day as if I'm actually there preparing to end my life as a single and embark on something that seemed, on many occasions, like it would never arrive.
My wedding. My marriage.
There are those events in life when you wait so long for it to come, and then when it does, all your anticipation, anxiety, and excitement seem like they are all meshed together like a pot of stew. When the three emotions collide, your heart is just not certain that it can take it. Then you think, sadly, that all this waiting and emotion-building will end when the day, night, hour, or week is over. Only on this day though, there would be no end. I would spend the whole day celebrating, but I would spend the rest of my life learning how to live joined as one with someone else.
Now, three years later, I feel like I have learned so much about this man and about this marriage, but I feel like I am so far away from having it figured out. It's like when you're running and you feel like you accomplished so much when you see a mile pass, but when your goal is three miles or five miles or thirteen miles, you realize that a mile seems like so little. So you just keep running. Even in the moments when it seems like a lot of trouble to keep pushing on with your exploding lungs and aching legs, you remember what your goal is so you persevere.
And three years ago this man that I married, who I was certain that I loved more than I ever could love anyone, has transformed my idea of love with the help of a Savior. No longer is it love that exists solely on giddy feelings, though those feelings do come around, and no longer is it love based on everything that I need, though that selfishness still very much exists. But ultimately, it's love based on a choice that in spite of anything that happens, he's the one that I love. And I love him so.
Cameron,
Year one was fun, new, and exciting. Year two was challenging, adventurous, and change-filled. Year three has been calmer and more hectic all at the same time, but full of lessons that are worth more than gold. I love you more today than I ever have, and if for no other reason, it's because of the man that I have seen the Lord grow you to be. Thank you for loving me in spite of days of complete selfishness and incredible sinfulness. Down three and forever to go!
Fun facts for three years of marriage:
- We've had four (and hopefully five soon) addresses.
- Together we've had five job changes.
- We haven't broken any of our dishes.
- We've had to replace many wedding gifts and still have more to replace thanks to Uhaul's stellar storage facilities.
- We've almost bought three houses.
- We've been to seven youth camps and four disciple nows.
- We've had a leased car and an almost fully purchased car. And then there's the mustang.
- We've realized how completely stubborn and hard headed we both are.
- We've prayed about adoption on a serious level.
- We've prayed about a million things on a serious level.
- We've gained and lost some friends.
- We've become friends of Dave Ramsey who turned our financial world upside down.
- We've lived with family for ten months and loved every second of it.
- We've developed a love-hate relationship with apartments.
- We've lived and flourished without cable TV despite the odds.
- We've annoyed each other a whole lot and loved each other a whole lot.
- We've learned to love Jesus a whole lot because of His grace in our marriage.
Happy Anniversary, my love!
This message popped up on my Facebook chat tonight:
hello god is really talking to me.
he has called me to be a pastor.
sorry for giving you a hard time in class
It made me really happy. Really, really HAPPY! There's hope for those hellion kids that do everything to drive me crazy. There's hope.
HGTV, MTV, ESPN, and sometimes even NBC are initializations that are just not apart of our vocabulary. For the life of our marriage, we have not subscribed to cable. And I'm pretty sure that I never had it throughout college either.
What this means is that I can't remember a time within the last eight years where I have had the pleasure of turning on the television and watching something of great quality while seated in my own living room. What this also means is that when it comes to television, we are most likely limited to the shows that the rest of the cable-watching world has never heard of. When my coworkers are sitting around discussing the latest episodes of quality shows like "The Real Housewives of Orange County" or "Jon and Kate Plus 8," I try to chime in with a "Did you see Bernie Mac yesterday?" and am usually shut down with stares of dismay and confusion as to if I'm really serious. And I am. That's what's shown on the four channels that I get. Well, that I got.
You see, my non-cable-watching life changed drastically on June 12. Who knew they were actually serious this time about the whole digital conversion thing? Not me. We had never purchased a converter box the first time they threatened and practiced this whole thing, and then we had lost the coupon that we were saving to purchase it. (This in itself pretty much portrays why we don't have cable to begin with. We're cheap. I mean thrifty.) Needless to say, we have no channels. None. Zilch. Zero. Really, it has not made that big of a difference to me until today. It was today when I decided that I missed my good friend Bernie. And if you have cable, I know what you're thinking because I've been asked this several million times: "How do you survive?" Well it kind of works like this, if you don't have it, you don't know what you're missing. Then when you have a taste of it like when you're in a hotel room or sitting in the waiting room of Discount Tire or visiting your parents, you think to your self that this is the life. And then you remember that you have other things to fill your life with and spend your money on like Facebook and blogs and clothes.
Oh, and if this lady would come give us a hand, life with Bernie could be back to normal.
Heading down the only road our summers know
Like a Body [of Christ] we were meant to walk along [side kiddos]
And we've made up our minds
This ain't no waste of time
I'm feeling so clever right now because I made that up. I know, it's hard to believe that it's made up especially with that stellar second line. It's harder to believe that I had to google the lyrics to know what they really say. (I'm lyrically and musically challenged. Remind me to tell you about this later.) Don't judge/falsify the subject line in thinking that technically, if your guess of our going to camp is right, we won't be on our own but will be with all the lovely teens. The thing is that we didn't leave with the other kiddos this morning but are leaving tomorrow instead. So if we're speaking technically, then we (hubs and me) will be on our own. Really, who am I kidding? WHO CARES?
With the oh-so-clever parody and justification paragraph that followed, I just wanted to share that we're off to camp but with middle schoolers this time. The scenery will be different (lake instead of beach) and the kids younger, but the God part is still the same. So this week, any time you think of your middle school years and your too-large bangs, say a prayer for us. We'll need them; it's hot out there. If you don't believe me, go read everyone's status on Facebook. They're determined to remind you in case the sweat running down your back as soon as you walk out of the door wasn't enough.
P.S. The tracker of traffic that is located to your left and down the page has totally amazed me. Someone in Michigan read my blog yesterday. I'm not even sure of the capital of MI (or the correct abbreviation because I just looked this up), and I definitely don't know anyone there. Wait, maybe one of my five readers is vacationing there. This thought just came to me and made me a tad less excited. So if it was you visiting there, don't tell me and let me think that I'm becoming famous like Pioneer Woman. Probably not.
See you in the bloggy world next week!
Reasons why it happens so fast:
- There's somebody asleep in my bed everyday past 7 am (sometimes 8, 9, or 10 am), and it's almost always yours truly.
- My bed actually gets made. For about nine months, my duvet is more like carpet as it rests on its home--the floor.
- Going to the gym at 9:30 pm or am is not even a question. Just put on the sneakers and go!
- Reading by the pool is an option with no guilt as to what I should be doing.
- A constantly clean home.
- Doing laundry at whatever pace that I would like. Why? Because I can do it all day!
- Spendin' time with Jesus for any length of time with no rush to go get ready.
- Staying in pajamas all day long.
- Being able to have dinner AND lunch with friends and the hubs on a week day. And if lunch ends up lasting 2 hours and 40 minutes, no biggie.
- Using the restroom whenever I feel like it and not having to hold it. (I know, TMI.)
- Having room in my brain for anything else other than middle schoolers and English.
- And the common theme amongst all of these: TIME. I have it. Lots of it. It's glorious.
Dear Summer,
You are now my very best friend. Ever. You have given my brain all kinds of new freedom that it had forgotten that it had. You allow me the time to do whatever needs to be done. Overall, you just make me happy. And the icing on the cake (drum roll, please) is that the cash (though little it may be) is still flowing to my bank account while I bask in your rays. We're BFF, and I just want you to know this.
Hannah
To fold or not to fold? And other questions brought on by marriage.
2 comments Posted by Lilies of the Field at 11:56 AM
These are our bathroom hand towels. They are housed on this classy, silver towel rack as given by The Lodge. In the first version, you will see how I prefer for them to hang. In the second picture, you will see how the hubs prefers for them to hang. Who cares, right? Well, this is one intriguing things about marriage that I have found. Who's preference wins? There are some things from one's own raisin' that are just assumed that everyone does, like be able to dry one's hands while keeping the towels folded. As they should be folded. However, once one enters into marriage, one realizes that said things from old are not always spouses ways of old. The question then arises: Who wins?
No one (or maybe everyone) because daily the towels could be found in either manner at any point in the day. If this could be secretly video recorded, you would see hubs drying his hands and unfolding, and then you would see me shortly after coming to put them back in their rightful folded position.
Rightful, of course, is a relative term in this case.
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