That's probably not true, and by probably, I mean not at all. However, there are some things you can learn from them. We'll get to that in a second. For right now, I have to give you some background.
Background: I grew up in a small town. The term small is relative, so when I have to justify its small-ness to people, these are the things that I tell them:
- You haven't heard of it? Shocking! It is the "Leather Goods Center of the Southwest" -- Nocona Boots and Nokona Athletic Goods. (Justification: Nokona baseball gloves are famous.)
- Within it, there lives 2500 people on a good day. (Justification: However, this does not include the "lake" people, so it might be a bit bigger. When I was in high school and couldn't "own" its smallness, then I would say that.)
- There's no Wal-mart, but there is an Ace Hardware.
- Two red lights. Yep. Just two.
- 16 people in my graduating class. (Interesting fact: we were known as the big, unruly class. Why, you ask? Well, there had been classes with TWO, count 'em TWO students.)
- There's no McDonalds, but there is a DQ. (Justification: It was the #1 DQ in Texas at one time. It's Texas' stop sign, and I think my hometown is why!)
- The nearest mall: 45 minutes. It's a tragedy.
I really could come up with so many more, but I'll spare you. I just need for those of you that have no real small-town-living history to understand that it's a culture. Now, this is not something you realize until you're gone and living in cultured areas, but it is, I tell ya (say that like you live in a small town). It is. There's something extraordinary about this culture, so much so that when I visited my parents this past weekend I took some notes on my phone about all the kinds of things that one might find. If I hadn't searched for my camera and not found it in my purse until I got home, then I might have some pics to prove some of this stuff. The Lord must have had something against my teasing (I almost put making fun of, but thought that would be rude) of the truth behind these folk. Here they are, things you can learn/see in a small town, in no particular order:
- You can use your visit to get your two-month-old inspection done. When you do, the lady will take about 3.2 minutes, and it will only cost $14. Then when you act shocked at how quickly it went (you know in the city this would have taken a minimum of 12 hours), she says this in a straight-up redneck voice: "It's Friday night quittin' time, so we don't mess around." I have nothing against her or her country-ness, after all it's my neck of the woods; it was just funny! Dang I wish I had a pic.
- At the most precious niece's and nephew's baseball games, you think you see the whole town. At least the classy ones, like the guy with the mullet or the guy, and by guy I mean grown man, without his shirt on strutting around like he's all that (you also learn to say things like that).
- At said baseball games, an announcement is made that goes something like this, again with the accent: There's a white F-250 with two saw horses blocking someone in.
- Wearing your boots tucked in your pants as a grown man is cool.
- It's okay to park in the middle of the street and partake in conversation or just literally park there. After all, there are plenty of people that will go around you because it's apparently a new traffic law that makes this okay.
- Wearing rhinestones in every location and according to any unthinkable design is a new fashion trend.
- Wearing denim from head to toe is also apart of this fashion trend.
- Having kids as quickly after you are married as possible is the thing to do.
- Big trucks=manliness
- A clean car soon becomes a dirty car. The concrete is so much less plentiful.
One might think this is judgmental, but this is why I feel justified: I WAS SOME OF THESE PEEPS FOR 18 YEARS. I enjoy going home, but it's not for the town though. There's these precious little peeps there that make me happy and are so excited to see me that I feel like I'm Paris Hilton, except I have on more clothes.
Labels: Things Pondered
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